Epic Display of Patriotism

"This is one of the greatest moments in sports history."

"The passion is raw, but the hot dogs are cooked."

Nothing screams American pride quite like competitive eating. Nathan's Hot Doge Eating Contest just finished after a five dog eat-off between Joey Chestnut and Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, which apparently has never happened in the annual Coney Island-hosted event. This year marked the 93rd time eaters pitted their stomachs against others.

I love the hyperbole used in sportscasting. The announcers managed to hang the future of the world on the outcome.

Winning hot dog count: 59 (plus 5 dog eat-off).
My record for hot dogs eaten in a day: 4.



So this Fourth of July, be sure to load up on calories and forget about all those who are starving elsewhere in the world.

...And the Murrow Goes to

It struck me a bit odd today when I read that media awards themselves for disaster coverage. The RTNDA announced the 2008 winners of the Edward R. Murrow Awards, honoring excellence in electronic journalism. The awards will be presented at a swanky dinner on Oct. 13, in New York.

Isn't standard award procedure to announce the nominees, THEN have a dramatic reveal at the dinner? This sounds like a pseudo event. They are doubling their news coverage of the awards. Maybe we can secure a late award for best coverage of the awards?

Despite all of the negative press regarding Katie Couric as host of the CBS Evening News, the program won for best newscast. Take that NBC and ABC.

The awarding of disaster coverage reminds me of Mitch Hedberg's sketch regarding reservations at restaurants.

Sadly, our blog did not bring home any Murrow's. Consequently, there will be no after party. We'll get 'em next year.

It's In The Stars

The other day I read my horoscope as I was paging through the Chicago Tribune. I was instructed that today would be a good day to ask for a raise. Seeing as I currently pull down the large sum of zero dollars an hour, which totals $0 every two weeks, I thought it was good advice. Some day, hopefully soon, when I have a job, I await the return of this horoscope. At which point I will walk into my superior's office, slam down the torn piece of paper and say "I think we need to talk."

Has anyone ever followed the advice of their horoscope?

I'm waiting for the "Today is a 1. Go back to bed." horoscope. Usually the forecasts for the day are at least a 3. Maybe the writers fear their influence on the person anxiously reading their horoscope as they inch toward the ledge of a skyscaper seeking some advice what to do.

I have yet to read an obit that says someone was found with the horoscope section beside them. The grim prediciton: Today is a 1. That sounds like a short film. Who wants to film it with me?

And I send my tape to...?

I'm pretty sure he won't be back. Then again, he's been with the station since 1990, according to Wikipedia. Now, to whom do I send my demo reel?
I could do crazy stuff like this. He should have looked down at his "script" or made some sort of pause.

Odd Jobs

As I spend most of my day trolling through the classifieds and online advertisements for alleged openings, I come across some opportunities that seem too good to be true. Such as this posting on Craigslist:

Drive Icecream Truck, Make Kids Happy, Get Paid Daily!!

Here's the full ad:

Date: 2008-06-19, 9:32AM CDT

I am looking for someone clean cut (check) and has a good driving record (debatable). This is a 6-7 days a week job. Hours will be from around noon until dark. Different pay options available. Commission or Hourly. Pay starts at $10.00. Call Jason Today (his last name is Today? That must be rough.) to set up an appointment. Applicant must be at least 18 years old or older (Isn't that covered when you said "at least"?). Male or female (Check). Must live within 15 miles from Elgin (double check) Spanish speaking a plus! Cash Paid Daily (I love cash)! 847-###-####. Do not email me.

A few things here:

• I had a good driving record until that ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign.
• I think this should be reworded to "This job will be your life."
• I love making kids happy.
  
• There is no mention of being able to tolerate "Turkey and the Straw" for hours on end.

Please post other dream jobs you come across.