Morning Thoughts

How much must someone hate themselves to start the day with McDonald's for breakfast?

I play chicken with pigeons in the city.

And finally, as you'll hear in my upcoming standup debut, I was trying to setup my voicemail message at the front desk this morning after I have been here nearly two months. Frustrated with the prompts and my ineffective attempt to change the prompt to my name, I continued pushing "star followed by the pound key." Then Dana slid a greeting card with a purple inner layer in front of me to sign.

I scrawled my full name for some unknown reason, then "Happy BDay!" above it. After I hung up the phone, Dana informed me that the card was a condolence card. One of the big donors to the festival had died. Since the card wasn't white, I was strictly anti-White Out, while Dana claimed a mastery level of prowess with the soggy sponge. My suggestion was to simply cut the corner where I had signed my congratulatory note. Or I could leave "Happy" and replace BDay with death. Morbid, but at least it would be quasi-appropriate.

So, over the white blots I sheepishly wrote "Sorry for your loss." But in reality, I'm sorry to the person who receives that card because you know they will look at the white splotches and try to decipher what was originally written.