Regrets from an Occasional Blogger

I wonder if Jesus would have been a blogger. If so, would he have a lot of followers? Would he comment on his disciples' musings?

There are two types of people in this world: those that comment on blog posts and those that don't.

I regretfully am in the latter bucket. It isn't that I don't want to read what others write, I simply haven't allocated the time to do so. I think it all started that fateful day when I subscribed to a few magazines, one of which being a weekly. One of the subscriptions has since run its course and I didn't renew. There are still four or five issues in their snug cellophane. That leaves two dense mags that skimp on pictures and continue to make me reach for the dictionary. I've yet to determine if this makes me feel challenged or deserving of the short bus. My goal is to be reading issues in the same month as my Legends of Jazz wall calendar displays. It's an ongoing literacy battle. I took out a speed reading book, but apparently getting the audiobook version was a wasted effort.


Compounding my struggle to find time to read is what I believe to be a legitimate medical issue. I call it literary narcolepsy. The National Institute of Health has yet to acknowledge my condition, despite my well-crafted emails. Then again, it might be somewhere in here, but I fell asleep as I was scrolling through it. Perhaps the disease--can we call it a disease? I hope it isn't contagious--is spurred by my insatiable desire for carbs. In what I define as the "good life" I retire to the living room after a borderline gourmet dinner (heavy on pasta or rice) and pick up the latest magazine I've been attempting to conquer. Within two to three paragraphs I fall asleep. Sitting up, which is one of the most uncomfortable positions to sleep. Then I battle that paragraph in the middle of the page, reading it a few times and nodding off earlier and earlier.

The problem extends beyond print publications and into the online realm. I love using Google Reader and have hoarded more RSS feeds than can ever be necessary. Currently, I have 125 feeds. My logic is that by amassing the oddest and greatest the web has to offer I'll be well-versed on everything that is happening, including peasant uprisings in Kuala Lumpur.

How can I fix this issue? You are probably suggesting street-grade uppers, but I don't do caffeine. I can make it through the day sans speed and my negative experience has burned me on the java goddess.

I've read all about the ways to build your following: read, comment, share, reciprocate, post frequently. But I prefer to wait for my epiphanies or horrendous dates to post something new. To those that know me, you know about how I inadvertently learned a great way to drive traffic, but sadly it was a one-timer.

So I apologize bloggers of the interwebs. I'd love to read and comment on your work, and to be fair, I may have started and fallen asleep. Please don't be offended. It's not you, it's my disease.