Sign here

Get it in writing they always say.

It's story time:

A young boy eagerly attended a Cubs game with his Uncle and cousins. Hoping to get his first signed ball. The ball was neon orange and green, slightly used. Once at the park the uncle took the ball and went behind the dugout to see about getting some autographs. The ball went unsigned. Derrick Mays didn't sign colored balls.

For all you sleuths reading this, you may have already gathered that the young boy was this underpaid, under-utilized writer. Go ahead. Get the Kleenex. I'll wait.

This was one of the first big disappointments from a superstar. One of many I could expect from the Cubs style of baseball. For the record I didn't want Mays' signature. I was after Sosa's.

I've never really been star crazy, hungry for autographs. It seems like by asking someone to sign something you are elevating them above you. Putting them on a pedestal. I'll admit there are many people with great talent in this world. Athletes, movie stars, comedians, rock stars. They all get bombarded to sign various things.

Recently I've deviated from my no autograph policy. While I still firmly believe that stars are people too, no better than most of us (possibly much worse), of late I have requested some scribbles. I feel awkward doing it. The past requests have all been of jazz artists I really dig. (I use the word 'dig' because Kurt Elling used it and I feel it's one of the ways I can show that I'm hip and "get" jazz.)

Now, I conceptualize autographs like photos. They commemorate an evening. When I saw "Fathead" Newman at the Jazz Showcase I purchased his CD and asked him to sign. I also asked the other band members. They stated that they didn't play on the CD. I wasn't concerned with that detail. All I knew was that I saw them play that night.

My second signing was the incomparable Kurt Elling at the Green Mill. I went up in between sets and offered up my CD to the altar of musical gospel. He signed and gave a smile out of the side of his mouth and returned to sorting through his sheet music.

The final one was Karrin Allyson also at the Mill. I went to her after the final set of an amazing show that I didn't want to end. She gave a sincere thanks and off I went. I think I said the show was amazing or phenomenal.

Despite saying earlier that artists/stars are just like everyone else there is something different. When I've gone up I am not quite sure what to say. Like conversations with strangers at a bar, you cant really engage in meaningful conversation. I have yet to say anything unique or distinguishable. Most times it's "I love your style" or "You're great." They respond "thanks" and that concludes the "conversation." There is a certain level of admiration for people who you hear on the radio or see on the screen. They are both like you and not at the same time.

I guess I have more respect for musicians, especially jazz, than I do for athletes, especially ones who don't provide their paying fans with autographs. I am not sure if someday down the road I want to be the one taking requests for autographs. In whatever I end up doing I want to be respected as a leader in the field (power napping?). In the corporate world I have a feeling signatures are only valuable on contracts. I doubt people run up and ask you to sign a TPS report.

I am looking forward to getting some signatures...on my paychecks!