Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Overheard in Deli Line

Deli worker: Does anyone have a number lower than 25?
Older woman with short, curly, old woman hair: [smiles, then raises her hand] I have 26.

I think she should forfeit her spot in line. At least she was still able to distinguish numbers under 100. I just hope she got dropped off by a geriatric shuttle.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Dream: Crushed

Dangerous Animals–Primates (HB 4801/PA 96‐1219): Prohibits a person from having in his or her possession any primate, except at a properly designated facility.

If you're going to defecate on my dream, the least you could do is have the decency to fling it at my face.

I don't want to live in a society where I can't own a monkey. This is America. And if I want to have a pet monkey to fetch me drinks and occasionally wear a butler outfit, that's my right. It's in the Constitution. Or Bill of Rights. One of those important texts. Magna Carta? Federalist papers? Someone help me out here.