Odd Jobs

As I spend most of my day trolling through the classifieds and online advertisements for alleged openings, I come across some opportunities that seem too good to be true. Such as this posting on Craigslist:

Drive Icecream Truck, Make Kids Happy, Get Paid Daily!!

Here's the full ad:

Date: 2008-06-19, 9:32AM CDT

I am looking for someone clean cut (check) and has a good driving record (debatable). This is a 6-7 days a week job. Hours will be from around noon until dark. Different pay options available. Commission or Hourly. Pay starts at $10.00. Call Jason Today (his last name is Today? That must be rough.) to set up an appointment. Applicant must be at least 18 years old or older (Isn't that covered when you said "at least"?). Male or female (Check). Must live within 15 miles from Elgin (double check) Spanish speaking a plus! Cash Paid Daily (I love cash)! 847-###-####. Do not email me.

A few things here:

• I had a good driving record until that ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign.
• I think this should be reworded to "This job will be your life."
• I love making kids happy.
  
• There is no mention of being able to tolerate "Turkey and the Straw" for hours on end.

Please post other dream jobs you come across.