The Bright Lights of Imagined Fame

Hello old friends and spam bots overseas. I apologize for not writing more recently.

Here are my excuses:

1. Twitter takes more time than I thought.
2. I've replaced writing with going to the gym.
3. Due to massive muscle gain and my downsizing to children's clothing, I've lost circulation to my extremities thusly preventing my posting of new quips on here.

A fair amount has happened recently, and by recently I mean since I last posted something of substance on here. I know. That's a stretch of the word. 

I made my standup comedy debut a few months ago. For some unknown reason, it wasn't filmed and there weren't any scouts from HBO in the crowd. The lights, however, are borderline blinding. Instead it was other "comedians" who apparently didn't like laughing at jokes. There were three other people in the audience: two girlfriends of the exclusively male roster and the mother of one of the girlfriend's. Now, I took logic in college, which qualifies me to make the following fallacy: Comics don't have friends until they are famous. I'm glad I did it but didn't get addicted to the phenomenal feeling of not hearing people laugh at my stories.

Last month I made another debut. This one was a year in the making. With the assistance of an auteur director/producer, we shot the pilot episode for a cooking show. This combines my love of cooking and my radio face. I made the best dish of my life, and I've made some good food. It wasn't the smoothest of first efforts but hopefully we'll have some video up by the end of this month for our hungry friends, stalkers and spam bots overseas. Highlights: Me talking to a basil plant, drinking too much jack and coke and slurring my words toward the end of filming. Stay tuned for the footage. I expect you to spread it faster than SARS.

Other than that I've been living life. Going new places, seeing great musicians, making new friends, taking advantage of every day and writing incomplete sentences. I hope to continue finding the humor in life to share with you dear readers. 

I recently read a great quote. You can make new friends, but you can't make old ones.

Until the next inspired moment...