At last!

At last
my job has come along
my beggarly days over
and life is like a song

Ooh At last

That's not exactly how Etta James sang it, but I think that was what she meant.

I have found a job at long last. It only took four months and two weeks. After being told I'm monotone, not lively and discriminated against for my cursed Y chromosome I have found a job I want. I will be working for Down Beat magazine as an editorial intern. Now you may be saying, that's not a real job, it's an internship. And you would almost be correct. It's a start and a chance to prove myself. The internship provides invaluable experience in writing and editing while working in a musical environment. Plus it's paid. So I can start spending money again.

I would like to thank (as if I've won an award) all of the alumni who have helped guide me. I think a helpful factor in securing this internship is that one of the editors is an NU alumnus. Go 'Cats! I also have to give some gratitude to my friends and family for putting up with me on this manic roller coaster of emotion. At least for the next three months that ride is closed.

One thing that I firmly believe sealed the deal was pouring on the prayers. None of the job hunting articles I read said anything about praying. I was pushed to the end of my sanity. I'm not one to quote from the Good Book on tape, but this is appropriate:

"So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."

Last week we ran out of mustard.

So, this weekend I'm going to dust-off the party hats, pop open a bottle of the good stuff (sparkling grape juice) and toast to the road ahead. I'd say it's been fun, but it hasn't. Looking for a job is one of the most painful, futile, arduous exercises in this world (Though I do hear that childbirth and kidney stones are quite painful).

I will continue to post about my new intern experiences, quirky ideas that keep me awake at night and I hope you'll continue to read along for Stories from the Job Front.

The depths of depression

The other night my phone rang. Surprisingly it wasn't a debt collector for Susanne Lawson (if Susanne is reading this: please stop giving out my phone number) or some unknown number. It was someone I knew. The sad part is the first thought I had was that my friend must have misdialed.

I do think things are swinging upward. I am going to call a production company again Monday to see about jobs. Then Wednesday I am meeting with an alumnus to get some guidance. I fully anticipate having a job by the end of the week.

The key I've found in follow-up emails to employers is extreme brevity. Instead of a long winded email, I send a 2-3 sentence email stating I wanted to follow-up to schedule an interview.

I've also started studying for the GRE in earnest. I requested info from some New York artsy schools and some schools in Cali for their photography or journalism programs.

New Ad Campaign

In case you didn't hear it, a 6-year-old had such a strong hankering for Applebees that he "borrowed" and crashed his grandmother's car en route to the restaurant.

Watch this for the gripping video:
http://www.wbaltv.com/video/14305224/index.html

If I had the video resources I'd make Applebee's a new ad campaign featuring the young patron. After showing a little kid herding his diaper-wearing buddies into his gram's sedan they head out to Applebee's. On the trip he crashes the car a few times and we see the scraped up car in the lot and the kids teetering toward the doors.


Narrator voice over: "Yeah, we're that good."

Freegan Eh

From the Oct. 1 Newsweek:

Before June of this year, I thought only the sad and desperate ate garbage. Then I discovered the freegans. For those new to the term (free + vegan), a freegan is a person who has decided to boycott capitalist society by severely curtailing consumption of resources through reusing, recycling and Dumpster diving. Taking the expression "Waste not, want not" to its extreme conclusion, freegans try not to purchase anything up to and including food. Instead, they rely on bartering and what the rest of us leave for the garbageman.

Just a quick note here: the correct term is "homeless."

I shouldn't joke. I'm on the fast-track to being a freegan Dumpster diver.

This is a test

Not much new news to report on the job front. I'd say the enemy is weakening, but their resolve is strong in ignoring my resume submissions and follow-up emails. I'll have to employ some new techniques. I've checked out The Art of War to mine it for new tactics. I mistakenly took French not Chinese in high school and college so I am dependent on the Wikipedia translation for guidance.

故曰：知彼知己，百戰不殆；不知彼而知己，一勝一負；不知彼，不知己，每戰必敗

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you win one and lose the next. If you do not know yourself or your enemy, you will always lose.

That's what I like to call concise writing. Based on my success rate in the job hunt I don't know myself or my enemy. Subsequently, I've purchased a mirror and How to find yourself. Who knew finding a job would be so expensive?

A growing trend that I have discovered (Vasco Da Gama has nothing on me) is the proliferation of pre-interview screening. Some employ phone interviews. Others have doled out tests. In the past two weeks I've taken two tests. One was a writing exercise for a part-time job in Evanston to summarize stories off of newswires. The other exam was for a photo production assistant, which required a high school diploma. That test was a little more enjoyable than the writing test. I had to say what was wrong with pictures or say what I would change. They also worked in a riddle section. I swear I didn't take as many tests when I was in college.

Here is my gripe with the testing: the companies don't respond after you submit their test. I'm starting to wonder if it's some sick social experiment or research project for a dissertation. Whatever it is, it is cruel and unusual.

This job hunt has become a childhood game of hide-and-seek. But the other people playing aren't well versed on the rules of the game. They are playing like the kids who returned to their house down the block while you clamped your eyes shut and counted, then search the closets and crevices of your house. Frankly, I don't care for it. It's bad form.

I'm growing tired of looking for a job. No one tells you how frustrating it is. Ninety-five percent of the people you contact won't respond. After enough rejection and being ignored you start to take it personally. My latest desire is to fuel up my beast of a vehicle and drive away. There are a few problems with this revolutionary idea.

1. My iPod battery only lasts an hour.
2. I tire quickly from driving.
3. Unless I get a different class of drivers license, driving isn't going to land me a job.
4. Even with no intended destination I would get lost.

Still, the thought of running away has its appeals. I've always had that wanderlust. Whenever I drive by the airport and see a plane taking off I wish I were on it. I watch travel shows and wish I were there even when there is the south. But whenever I do travel it takes about a day before I miss the comforts of home.

One final thought. A few alumni have suggested I read What Color is your Parachute? As someone who is on the edge of being sent to a room where the walls are softer than the bed, who cares what color it is, does it work?

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Listening to: Antonio Carlos Jobim - Children's Games
via FoxyTunes